Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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