ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
