and you said cock pushups were impossible
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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