As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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