This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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