Responsibility does not care about your dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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