Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
