OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
