I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
