I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
