I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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