Kiss
Puke
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
