Yo dont text me then not text me
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
