she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
