We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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