where does the pee come out of this thing
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
