it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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