BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
