Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
