I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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