About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize