omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How does it feel to date your dad?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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