the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
