At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
