Did you just see the Batmobile???
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
