I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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