At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
