drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
