what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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