Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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