He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
