The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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