a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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