We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
