I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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