The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
