He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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