I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
