She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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