p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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