The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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