Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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