the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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