Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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