I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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