listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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