1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
