its not stalking. its research.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
