And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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