I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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