Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh god it's open bar.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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