Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
