Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
