Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
