I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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