You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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