he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
