she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
