I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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