she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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