I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize