He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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