your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
FUCK WHALES
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