it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
